Proof that you never know where the next PIGI opportunity is going to come from. Mrs. Zombie and I decided to take a harmless trip out to the local home improvement store to look at bathroom remodel stuff…go figure, a guy who eats this amazing gastronome fare needs to remodel his crapper. So there I am trying to find a toilet that is tall enough to make my feet dangle like Edith Ann and my eye catches something. It’s fairly obvious that I have no better judgment so I go to inspect… chorizo sticks. I like chorizo and I like meat in stick form so….LETS DO THIS!!!

Now this is a list of ingredients that makes me nervous.  I’ll eat a pigs face if you cook it right but the long list of chemicals are the ones the make me a little nervous.

I cut open the package and it smells pretty tasty. It doesn’t look much different than your average slim jim but then again a slim jim is just grill scrapings all wrapped up in fat wrapper so… the visuals don’t exactly encourage me. As I look closer, I begin to reconsider the path that I have begun.  Just under the skin of the meat cigar before me I see what appears to be some little hair/vain looking things.

It’s time to take a shot.  I have the distinct feeling that if I didn’t need to remodel my bathroom before this experience that I made need to afterwards.

I’m confused by this… it’s meat in stick form and I feel like I should like it.  I get the feeling that I’ve just eaten a tablespoon of bacon grease which normally wouldn’t be a bad thing but this is sitting on top of stomach full of chicken curry and samosas….maybe I should look into getting some better judgement. It tastes like chorizo but the texture makes me think I’m eating raw chorizo…easy there big fella, keep it down.

I try to use the Andrew Zimmern credo that if I’m going to try it, I should try it twice.  I can’t imagine that someone would like to try something like say…ganaria twice but yeah, I’m going to try a second bite.

Yeah, meat at the hardware store…not so much. I do have someone who is more than anxious and happy to help me get rid of the rest of these sticks.

This is an experience that has made me sad. I have lost all of my faith that all meat in tube form is good. Apparently it is not. The hope of tasty chorizo that I could carry in my pocket so that it could brighten any day was dashed by a mouth full of spicy cold lard….and left me with a feeling that sausage, how ever tasty, would probably be horrible raw. I’m fairly certain that good nights sleep is not in my future. But you know, maybe I did learn a lesson…don’t get your crapper and your snacks at the same place.