Upon seeing my first entry of “Rich, that probably isn’t a good idea” my buddy Hot Dog decided to hook me up with a few uh….”tasty” treats for testing. He is such a giving guy like that. Today I’m trying one of these delectable morsels….Potted Meat.

I find even the name disheartening. It conjures up images of people making Kim Chee in clay jars only with vile and rotting meat products. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a dyed in the wool, hardcore carnivore but this stuff just doesn’t seem right.

Let’s take a look at the ingredients shall we? Ah yes, my friend and popular ingredient to unknown meat products…beef tripe. I’m not hugely against beef tripe as I’ve eaten it many times in its more natural form, diced up in a bowl of menudo (wonderful stuff…menudo that is. Oh, and that’s the soup not the 80’s boy band. If I knew what menudo the boy band tasted like, well let’s just say that my life would have taken a very different turn).
I peel back the oh so convenient lid and I’m hit with the smell of cat food. I don’t have a cat but we always had a bunch of them around when I was growing up so I’m familiar with the smell. This doesn’t bode well. What I find more disturbing than the smell is the unnatural pink color. It is the same color of a cartoon pig. It’s like the put Porky through a food mill and piped him into an easy open can.

Time to brave a taste of this cold mess. I take a spoonful and the consistency is pretty much just mush.

Here goes nothing.

Hold it together man…choke it down.

OK. My feeling is that it taste like a combination of Fancy Feast and salted a-holes. The texture is that of cold grainy mashed potatoes with enough of a fat coating that you can’t but help be reminded that you are quite possibly consuming someones childhood pet. I’m sure you could probably live on it but to show it made into a sandwich on the can, that is just Satan’s way of trying dress up evil to make it seem reasonable.

I’m fairly certain that I do know of someone who would like this.

To call this meat is really a lie and someone should be able to sue for false advertising. I’m certain that it’s meat in the fact that it comes from an animal. This stuff is as close to meat as Britney Spears is to music. I’m fairly convinced that the term “potted” stems from the fact that you would have to be pretty high and pretty desperate to seek out this craptastic can of caca to satisfy your pallet.